FIGHTS I’D LIKE TO SEE

FIGHTS I’D LIKE TO SEE

1.Roger Mayweather vs. Floyd Mayweather Sr. : Maybe it’s my imagination, but I can’t recall either one of these guys making any verbal noise during their careers. Sr’s claim to fame was a beating at the hands of Ray Leonard. Roger was stopped by Julio Chavez and in all fairness, did travel to the Jr. Middleweight division to outclass Vinny Paz. That said, I think these are Roger’s best days as a fighter. He never rushed at any opponent the way he rushed at Zab Judah. Also, don’t forget that the women he abused at his home was actually a professional boxer. As long as there’s an interpreter for the post fight interviews, I don’t see a problem with this.

2.Evander Holyfield vs. Mike Tyson: What will Tyson do when Evander butts him in this fight? Crazy question? Sure, but if a no talent bum like Charlie Sheen can interest the press throwing around furniture in a hotel room, this fight is certainly justified. I put my money on Evander this time because I don’t think he’ll allow Mike to bite him in the face. There must be a way to stop something like that and I think Evander would discover it.

3.Floyd Jr. vs. Hector Camacho: Neither combatant would be interested in the fight actually coming off. It’s the excuses these guys would come up with for postponing the fight that interests me. Floyd Jr. “Hector is taking drugs. I challenge him to a test.” : Hector Camacho: “The “Macho Man” has been taken drugs like cocaine but it never helped me in the ring. I’m in a bubble man. I’m Darth Vador. Luke Skywalker. What the hell do I care about Mayweather for? If he wants to fight, we’ll fight. If he wants to have someone follow me around, that’s cool as long as it’s a babe that wants to jump into my mothership and fuck around with the evil stuff. I don’t need Mayweather. He needs the Macho Man. I’m flying around right now man. Shit, I am boxing. (Come to think of it, I think this fight could use an interpreter too.)

4. George Foreman vs. Joe Frazier III: I just get the feeling George wants to give Joe one more brutal beating that the sport will never forget. Don’t ask me why. I guess I just never bought the “Nice Guy George Foreman” act, no matter how many pleasant stories I hear about his royal treatment of boxing fans. Hey, if you think George is so nice, ask him what happened in Zaire. When you wake up 3 days later in an emergency room, give me your address and I’ll send you a card. Don’t be insulted when someone grabs the card and reads it for you as anyone that looks at you can see you’re suffering from very serious brain damage.

5.Charlie Sheen vs. “The Pavement 100 stories from his hotel room.” I don’t hate or even dislike this guy. However, hearing his name on Morning shows is really irritating me. I only have 3 minutes to watch these shows and I really don’t see why they’re publicizing his juvenile exploits. One jump and we can hear news that really matters.

6.Butterbean vs. any opponent that loses to the “Klits.” I actually think Butter stands a puncher's chance against any of them. God, I really miss that guy. Best prelim fighter in history.

7.Lindsay Lohan vs. Paris Hilton: Have this fight take place in a “Roman Coliseum.” Put a pound of cocaine on the ground. Who can snort up the most cocaine before the fight begins? If the coke doesn’t kill them, the fight will. They’ll both be armed with firepower that will go off with or without a trigger.

8.Bill Clinton vs. Michelle Obama: I know… I know, why did I post this fight. Well, Obama wouldn’t fight Bill for free. Michelle would fight anyone if she’s still falling around the White House drunk as shit and something needs to be done to convince us that the Democratic party hasn’t transformed into one collective zombie capable of just about nothing. And no, I’m not a Republican. (Note: I’m taking Bill. Bill’s heart will hold up. He’s smarter than Michelle. All he’ll need is a cigar, a smile and a good plan for a sneak attack. )

9.Muammar Gaddafi vs. Saddam Hussein: So you say the fight’s unfair because Saddam is dead? Take a look at Gaddafi’s face and repeat that statement.

10. A Police Officer Vs. Jesse Jackson: This is a different type of contest. The questions: (a) Can Jesse convince the Officer to arrest him and return him to glory days of the past? (b) What would Jesse have to do? (c) If the Officer was forced to beat the shit out of Jackson, would be he be too embarrassed to tell anyone? (d) Would anyone have a camera? If so, Jesse’s back for one helluva comeback. Sharpton would will be envious beyond comprehension.

First that Sheen one is wrong and funny.

Second the Paris vs Lindsay fight needs to be nude and with a lot of oil.

Soonermark890 wrote:First that Sheen one is wrong and funny.

Second the Paris vs Lindsay fight needs to be nude and with a lot of oil.

I miss Celebrity Deathmatch.

Ali wrote:I miss Celebrity Deathmatch.

That show was awesome.